I’ve been meaning to write an ending for the Flingstress
for a while now. As you can probably guess based on my absence, I am no longer
flingstressing about.
I have many stories of how I met men whether it was online,
playing music, on the dancefloor, at bars and even airplanes (seriously – I
have met multiple men on airplanes). But nothing compares to this story. It was
years in the making.
In 2011, I go to a friend’s 30th birthday party
with then-boyfriend (not yet fiancé) Joseph. But this isn’t just any old normal
birthday party. Spencer encourages guests to dress in funeral garb as they are celebrating
the death of his wife’s youth. Ha! Most people show up in black shirts or
dresses… but I am not most people. I show up to the party wearing a red and
black floor-length gown, black opera gloves and a short blonde wig complete with black veil.
As soon as I walk in, a handsome dark-haired man approaches
me… much like moth to a flame. I know immediately he is feeling the vibe I was
laying down so I quickly mention that I am at the party with my boyfriend.
Boyfriend, boyfriend... did I mention I have a boyfriend?
Derek handles it well and I offer to serve as his wing
woman to meet a cute gal at the party. He hangs out that night with me and my
friends and even lets us dress him up in a big floppy hat and sunglasses. (He
would later tell me I didn’t introduce him to a single girl that night)
After the party Derek asks Spencer what my deal is… “is the boyfriend serious?”
Spencer replies “yeah, they’re living
together and will probably get engaged soon.” Spencer conveys this story to me
later and I remember being flattered but that’s as far as it went - because I
was in a serious relationship. And I’m not an asshole.
Fast forward a few months
and Joseph and I DO get engaged. And then disengaged. I run into Spencer at a
happy hour a couple of months later and inquire about the cute math teacher
from the party who was totally into me. “Oh man, he just started seeing
someone,” Spencer says sadly. I then promptly forget about Derek and proceed on my
manpage.
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