Age Is a Number. Maturity Is a Choice.

I turned 30 recently. On a unicorn while playing guitar, apparently. I can hardly believe it. Am I really this old? Ha. I don’t feel old. I feel better than I ever have and I would dare say I’m cuter now than I was five years ago. So go me!

I’ve always been biased about dating younger men… I jokingly tell guy friends that they don’t become “acceptable” to date until age 30. Part of the reason is what I call Man Child Syndrome. Many men suffer from MCS (a very serious condition, I assure you, that prevents men from growing up and becoming responsible, committed adults). But what I’ve come to realize is that age has little to do with it. Hell, Joseph was a 32 year old man child who would play StarCraft for hours and forget to feed himself. 

I meet Flash on match.com. He emails me a thoughtful, interesting message and his pictures suggest he’s a handsome fellow.  AND I’m only slightly agitated by the fact he graduated from the University of M*ch*g*n. Oh. Wait. He’s 23. Shit. I don’t want to ignore him – so I write a nice, witty reply (duh) but I include at the end “I see we have quite an age difference… thoughts?”

His response is good. He says: “Our age difference doesn't bother me at all. I am a fun 20-something, but I'm looking for something meaningful.” He goes on to say “I want to start a family in the not-so-distant future as well. I'm not going to rush to the altar, but that's not prudent regardless of one's age. I want to meet the woman of my dreams, who challenges me and inspires me, and who I love unconditionally.” Well alright. Game on.

We meet for drinks near Foggy Bottom. He’s dressed very sharply – looks great in a blazer – and I’m relieved to not feel old around him. Our conversation at the bar (over good whiskey I might add) is sparkling. It’s comfortable and easy. It’s flirty and fun. Flash is doing and saying all of the right things.

THEN. We’re talking about our career goals. He tells me, without any shred of doubt or sarcasm, that he’s going to be president of the United States someday. I smile – this isn’t the first time I’ve heard this recently (ah the joys of dating in DC). But to be fair the other guy is Scottish and thus CAN’T be the POTUS.  Flash says jokingly “I can’t date a woman who can’t see herself being First Lady.” Whoa. Pump. The. Brakes.

I battle an internal struggle because on the one hand, Flash is highly principled, mature, knows himself well, has integrity and has values/morals that are aligned with mine.  BUT doesn’t the fact I’ve kissed many girls preclude me from public office? Ha. Do I really see myself as a politician’s wife? I know the answer. And it bums me out.

I tell Flash that while I find him extremely appealing, I can’t sign up for the life he’s choosing. I quote a self-help book I read after my break-up (oh, there were many): “you live a life, not a relationship.” At the end of the day, I know I want a simpler existence than that of public service.

The future POTUS taught me something very valuable though… it’s not someone’s age that determines their maturity level or likelihood to be ready for a long-term relationship. Flash and I have resolved to be friends – and I have already offered my services as wing woman to help him meet some ladies. Look how mature we are! How honest and open!  Man, turning 30 has really made me super wise.