The End: Part III

After only 2 weeks of dating my parents happen to be coming to town. Oops. A lot of pressure on a new relationship, but what the hell? It goes without saying my parents immediately love Derek. When he goes to buy a round of beers later that night, my dad turns to me and says “now there’s the kind of man you marry.” My dad has never said this about any of the men I’ve dated. EVER.  

Derek and I have spent almost every day together since our first marathon date. The way he cared for me after my shoulder surgery gave me the confidence he was in it for the good times and the bad. I’ve never let anyone (besides my mom) care for me like that. The truth is, I almost married a person I never trusted to actually be there for me. Joseph showed me on many occasions that I would have to fend for myself (or rely on my family to help). Now that I know what it feels like to have a true partner, I can’t believe I would’ve settled for less.

A year after our first date Derek proposes to me in front of the fountain where we had our first kiss. It is private and perfect – we spend the next hour just the two of us drinking whiskey and cuddling in a booth.  A year later we are married in front of our friends and family on a gorgeous farm in western Maryland.

Even though he’s an introvert and the thought of dancing in front of 150 people horrifies him, he learns a choreographed dance. ::swoooooooooon:: There's even a lift!

A month later we are whipping through the Scottish highlands on a motorcycle. Life is grand.

The End.

Haha. Just kidding. It’s just the beginning. We recently celebrated our two year anniversary and I have to say the whole marriage thing is pretty awesome. It’s not without its difficulties... there is no fairytale ending. Life is still confusing, people are still terrible sometimes and the world is nuts right now.

 

But to anyone reading this thinking you should settle because you’re “at that age” or you’ve been with the same person “for too long”, don’t do it. Don’t fucking do it. Don’t settle for the person who isn’t a true partner, doesn’t care for you when you’re sick or doesn’t make you feel comfortable in your home.  I’m on the other side and I can tell you it’s worth it. I hated my friends who told me “you’ll just know” when you meet the right person – I wanted to punch them in the face.

So now you’ll probably want to punch me in the face. Because I did “just know.” From the beginning it felt different and I’d say within 3 months I knew I wanted to spend my life with this man.

So that’s my story. From heartbreak to happily married. I will remind you that the path was not pretty and littered with jokers. But I survived it and so will you. Or you won't. And you'll adopt some old German shepherds who have aged out of their police duties or service-dog jobs and you'll spend your days caring for these magnificent creatures who gave so freely of themselves and they deserve to be pampered, damn it. The end.

The End: Part II

Fast forward to 2014 when (at a happy hour again, sheesh) Spencer attends my going away party from my job. I jokingly give him a hard time about never setting me up with nice guys when his eyes light up. “You know who’s single again? Derek.”

“C’mon, Spencer”, I say incredulously. “It’s been 3 years since that party… and I looked crazy that night. He doesn’t even know what I really look like. I had a blonde wig on!”

I pause. And then smile. Fuck it. “But whatever, show him a current picture of me and if he’s interested you can give him my number.”

At poker night soon thereafter, he shows Derek more recent pictures of me (He lets him stalk my facebook since he’s not on the facebook). I get a text from Spencer that simply says “Game on.” SCORE

He calls me. CALLS, people! He leaves a voicemail!! It’s super sweet and gives me the butterflies. Bad timing, though. I’m in California visiting my sister! Hmph.

So we did that thing where people actually talk on the phone. I call him while taking a walk and suddenly become very aware that I might be viciously attacked by mountain lions. Ha! (In case you’re curious, I am alive and well. No death by mountain lion) Our talks are easy. Comfortable. Fun.

I’m in California for Valentine’s Day and he sends me this:

So basically I have go go out with this guy. I mean... this is hilarious!

Once I get back Derek asks me to brunch. I remember what he looks like (and have pictures from the night we first met). But it’s been three years. Would I still think he’s cute?

I walk into Chadwicks where he’s sitting at the bar. The bartender nods in my direction and he turns around. My heart falls to the floor. He’s SO RIDICULOUSLY HANDSOME! All of the sudden I’m nervous and wondering if he thinks I’M cute as I walk upstairs to the table.

We are the obnoxious people who take 45 minutes to decide what to order since we’re too busy chatting. He finds ways throughout the meal to touch my arm and it’s like a jolt of electricity runs through me each time we touch. He puts me at ease telling me all of the bad things about him (an unfortunate middle name, some regrettable tattoos, etc). Says he just wants to get it all out in the open upfront. He’s handsome AND funny. ::Swoon::

That spark we both felt that first night is still there. Our brunch date at 11 am turns into an 8 hour adventure of looking at local art, walking around Old Town Alexandria and ending up at a Vietnamese restaurant for dinner.

There is a moment in front of a fountain; with the sun shining down on us that is absolutely perfect… His hazel eyes are staring deeply into mine and I get squirrelly and look away to break the tension. Just then a soft breeze blows my hair into my face. He pushes it back and gently kisses me. ::heart explodes:: 

The End: Part I

I’ve been meaning to write an ending for the Flingstress for a while now. As you can probably guess based on my absence, I am no longer flingstressing about. 

I have many stories of how I met men whether it was online, playing music, on the dancefloor, at bars and even airplanes (seriously – I have met multiple men on airplanes). But nothing compares to this story. It was years in the making.

In 2011, I go to a friend’s 30^th birthday party with then-boyfriend (not yet fiancé) Joseph. But this isn’t just any old normal birthday party. Spencer encourages guests to dress in funeral garb as they are celebrating the death of his wife’s youth. Ha! Most people show up in black shirts or dresses… but I am not most people. I show up to the party wearing a red and black floor-length gown, black opera gloves and a short blonde wig complete with black veil.

As soon as I walk in, a handsome dark-haired man approaches me… much like moth to a flame. I know immediately he is feeling the vibe I was laying down so I quickly mention that I am at the party with my boyfriend. Boyfriend, boyfriend... did I mention I have a boyfriend?

Derek handles it well and I offer to serve as his wing woman to meet a cute gal at the party. He hangs out that night with me and my friends and even lets us dress him up in a big floppy hat and sunglasses. (He would later tell me I didn’t introduce him to a single girl that night)

After the party Derek asks Spencer what my deal is… “is the boyfriend serious?”  Spencer replies “yeah, they’re living together and will probably get engaged soon.” Spencer conveys this story to me later and I remember being flattered but that’s as far as it went - because I was in a serious relationship. And I’m not an asshole. 

Fast forward a few months and Joseph and I DO get engaged. And then disengaged. I run into Spencer at a happy hour a couple of months later and inquire about the cute math teacher from the party who was totally into me. “Oh man, he just started seeing someone,” Spencer says sadly. I then promptly forget about Derek and proceed on my manpage.