Wednesday, March 6, 2013

I Would Walk 500 Miles (Nope, Not Really)

April and I are out in Old Town and meet two guys at Murphy's Irish pub. They're fun dudes and when the bar closes we are all headed to the King Street metro. Ryan ("my dude") is interesting. He's a bit on the young side (27) but acts older. He went to Penn State so we have the Big 10 connection and he speaks Spanish, having spent some time volunteering in Mexico. Score.

I hear from him off and on but I get the sense he's just looking for a good time. (He only texts when he's already out, after he's had a few beers, etc.) I'm coming back from the holidays when he asks me to meet him for a drink. I just drove 7 hours from Ohio and am exhausted.


Umm... really? I told him "No, no.. nevermind. I'm just going to go home." Now mind you, the bar I suggested, Samuel Becketts, is 5 minutes from where this man lives. So it's not as if I'm suggesting he drive 45 minutes somewhere. Who swears at a girl over text message anyway?

Unsurprisingly, I don't hear from him. About a week later April and I are out in Old Town and we end up at Murphy's. Again. Not only do I run into some old soccer friends (including Amir: So Not A Date Movie He looks happy, by the way, and is there with a pretty girl) But guess who is there. Ryan.

He's smiling at me and trying to flirt with me. I'm acting aloof toward him but I'm not bothered - I just know he's not the guy for me. I go up on stage to sing with the guitar player and after singing a rowdy rendition of Wild Rover, Ryan pulls me aside.




Sorry I'm not sorry, buddy. I know what I'm looking for and how I want to be treated. You don't get to swear at me.  I don't want a man who complains when he has to drive 10 minutes to come see me. And yes, I just dropped some Proclaimers on you - Scottish men obviously know what's up!





My friend told me a story about how her grandfather used to walk her grandmother home after dances in Manhattan back in the day... and how he lived in the Bronx and it would take him literally hours to make sure his lady got home safely. He walked miles and miles... and never ever complained. 

Shit. Nowadays men complain if they live in the District and have to come into Arlington to see you. Good luck if you live in Maryland. You're NEVER going to be able to date anyone.