Garrett is 23. I met him at a bar. Where he works as a bartender. Soooo stereotypical. What can I say? The kid cracks me up. He genuinely makes me laugh and I don’t find that every day. So what the hell? I decide to go out with him.
After his shift at the bar, we head to Freddies in Crystal City. We walk in and are immediately engulfed by a sleazy vibe. Maybe it’s the stripper who approaches us and makes it very clear she’s interested in both of us… or the supposedly gay Asian man who tries to feel me up… or maybe it’s just the sleaziness exuding from Garrett. I can’t be certain.
I’m laid back enough to tolerate this environment – I’m holding my own talking with a group of strippers and Mr. “touchy-feely” Asian man. I look at Garrett and am thinking he’s quite good looking for a baby. I’m busy fending Asian man off when I see Garrett talking to a woman as he pulls out his phone and gets her number. What. The. Fuck.
I wish that were the worst of it. It gets worse. “How?!” you ask. Well, let me tell you. Garrett is laying it on strong and is trying to convince me to come home with him. I’m like “hell to the NO!” He’s completely unfazed and whips out his phone to make a call. “Hey bro, what’s up dude?” Wait. Is that a girl he’s talking to?! He continues with “yeah man, where you at?” Shut up! You’re pretending you’re talking to a guy when I can totally hear that it’s a girl? Seriously?!! You can’t wait until I drop you off to arrange your booty call?
I wish I could say that 1. Asking for another girl’s number in front of me and 2. Arranging a booty call with another woman while pretending it was a man were the only things that qualified this as the worst date ever. Wrong.
The next day I get a call from a friend who knows the owners of the bar where Garrett works. “Hey, just a head’s up: you might be getting a call from the police.” WHAT? Apparently he had been accused of credit card fraud and the police wanted an affidavit from me stating where we had gone and what he spent money on. So let me get this straight. Not only did you take me on the worst date of my life but you didn’t even use your own money to finance it?! I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!
To be fair, even though Garrett acted like a major douchebag, I don’t think he is a thief. What can I say? I see the best in people. Not that I would EVER consider going out with him again. I need to reevaluate my “lower limit.” Might need to raise it to at least 28. Hell, let’s just raise that puppy up to 30, the age when men actually become acceptable to date.
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