Free Fitness Test

I fancy myself a fairly savvy person when it comes to the opposite sex. But sometimes they make no damn sense.

I’m headed to the gym and stop in Starbucks to grab a protein plate. I’m looking for somewhere to sit when a good-looking guy says “you can sit here, some guy is sitting there.” It just happens to be right in front of him. Ha. Nicely played, sir.

Oh. I forgot to mention what I look like. My hair is greasy and in a pony-tail. I’m wearing ugly sweatpants and a long sleeve shirt. It’s not even the cute gym outfit – you know the one – tight yoga pants with a flattering tank top. Nope. It’s laundry time, folks, and I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel today.

He chats me up as I’m scarfing down my eggs, peanut butter and cheese.  He’s older than me (I find out later he’s 39) and used to play professional basketball abroad. It’s not until he stands up that I realize he’s 6’6. He slides me his business card and says he’d love to take me out for dinner sometime. What? Really? I look like CRAP. I’m not exaggerating. I would tell you if I looked cute.

I say goodbye to tall man and head into the gym. The gym manager nods in my direction and I smile a friendly “hello.” On my way out of the gym, he stops me to make small talk. His name is Joseph. Jesus. I just can’t win. His middle name is Kouros – he’s Iranian American. I inform him I’ll be calling him Kouros. He seems to like that. I'm on my way out when he stops me.

I’m thoroughly amused. I’m amused that a. I am getting picked up by two men who are sixteen years apart (Kouros is 23) and b. I look terrible!   

To my further amusement, I’m again reminded that age really doesn’t matter. The 39 year old basketball player flaked on the day we were supposed to go out whereas the 23 year old persisted (and asked my friend to encourage me to call him). Kouros and I went out on a date and it was pleasant enough.

Kouros still lives with his mother, plays a lot of video games and smokes marijuana regularly. So not exactly long-term potential.  But I appreciated his move. The “fitness card trick” is a new one, even for me.