An Email I Never Wanted to Receive. One Year Later.

"Jamie,

I know this email may come to you as a big surprise, and you're probably wondering who I am. I plan to give you all the details, but before I do I just want you to know that my main reason for writing this email is to provide you with a piece of information that was never given to you when your relationship with Joseph ended. Perhaps you were aware of it already, but something tells me you weren't. I know I may be very late with this information considering it's been almost a year, and I know many people will think writing to you is a very stupid idea... but the truth is you deserve to know no matter how late it may be….”  OH JESUS.

I could copy and paste the entire email but really what’s the point? Let me summarize. It’s much easier this way. Joseph meets Julia in San Diego while I’m in Italy with my parents. They start texting. She confronts him on it because late night texts from engaged men are suspect. He comes out with it: he has a crush on her. He comes back to DC – as an alien with different eyes – and tells me he needs to go find himself.

It doesn’t end there. She continues to chronicle her romance with Joseph. (WHY??) Their friendship blossoms into a romantic relationship. They date for 5 months. He breaks it off and she feels hurt. She feels that he’s getting away with looking like a nice guy and thus feels the need to lash out against him. Strangely enough, I understand where she’s coming from.

To this day I don’t know if Joseph’s friends know the truth about why we broke up. They definitely don’t know THIS truth – that he had developed feelings for another woman. Sadly his obsession with always being seen as the “good guy” probably led him down the path of unhappiness in the first place.

Part of me is angry. Angry that for an entire year I’ve felt sorry for him for being so lost. But now it’s clear he has no integrity. He lied to my face when confronted about whether or not he had feelings for someone else. He didn’t have the balls to just be honest with me. LAME.  The other part of me is breathing a huge sigh of relief. Bullet dodged.

Just as I would’ve been justified in throwing his clothes on the lawn or tearing apart his life-size poster of himself, there are many nasty things I could’ve said/done upon receiving this email. But I took the high road. Bat-shit crazy ain’t my style, folks. I forwarded him the email and just said “Breaking things off with me was the best gift you could’ve ever given me.” I even responded to her. She felt guilty and I assured her it wasn’t her fault. I told her that this only further validates how grateful I am NOT to be with him.

I know this woman isn't the reason my relationship with Joseph ended. But she certainly seems to have been the catalyst. So in that regard I must thank you, Julie, for your unfortunate role in my disengagement. And subsequent manpage. Which has been anything but unfortunate. :)